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Friday, June 11, 2004

Too Important to Be Left to the Generals 

Generals Thomas McInerney and Paul Vallely, who have just published Endgame: A Blueprint for Victory in the War on Terror, spoke recently at an event co-sponsored by the Pacific Research Institute, a "free-market think-tank" based in San Francisco, and the Lincoln Club. Michael Denny of the Zemblan Libertarian Front was in attendance with his colleague Anthony Gregory, and both of them were quite keen to learn "how we are going to win the War on Terror, where Saddam’s WMD are located, and how all this relates to the free market." We are pleased to report that they learned all that and a lot more besides:
Outside Fox News, the media are overwhelmingly tainted with a liberal bias that prevents them from reporting all the good things happening in Iraq.

You might not believe it if you listen to the liberal media, but the war is going much better than anyone, even the government, is reporting, and the hawks predicted this success all along.

For instance, to win the War on Terror, all we need to do is neutralize states that sponsor it. Of eight such states in the "web of terrorism" – including, but not limited to, the "axis of evil": Afghanistan, Iraq, Libya, Iran, Syria, Saudi Arabia, Pakistan, and North Korea – the United States has successfully whittled it down to a manageable five. Libya has become a good country, and no terrorist would dare tread in Afghanistan and Iraq after two successful U.S. wars. Anyone who would mess with us is "dancing on razor blades," one of the good generals opined . . . .

Our enemies go beyond the mainstream news, the French, Russians, Germans and Jimmy Carter – a gutless traitor who "sold the Shah down the road." Of course all those generals who disagree with the War on Iraq were "put in by Clinton," so we shouldn’t listen to them.

Our enemy is also Islam, and most likely the terrorist Muslims in particular.

We should also remember, as one of the speakers humorously explained, we’re up against a foolish enemy – an enemy so foolish that his religion promises virgins in the afterlife, when any red-blooded American can tell you that a man who wants a virgin "hasn’t been around very much."

Yes, a U.S. general said this, and hearing it sent shivers of pride and patriotism down our spines. Nothing makes us prouder than thinking of fighting and liberating an enemy that hasn’t even gotten to third base . . . .

At first, we were a little confused by PRI’s event, where we saw an impressive display of pamphlets arguing for deregulation and school choice, and yet heard about how the United States can succeed in the largest and most ambitious government undertaking in recent American history. But now we’re all cleared up . . . . [T]here’s no reason to talk to hawks about economics, because free-market or not, we’re at war, and we need to stand by our president. It’s especially important for free market organizations to understand this. At wartime, if you can’t say anything nice about the government, it’s best not to say anything at all. You either get it, or you don’t.

P.S. Oh no! The authors learn today that the generals' book is already being heavily discounted. Darn that free market.

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