Tuesday, July 13, 2004

Yertle the Longtime Companion 

Man goes to a shrink. "Doc," he says, "I can't sleep any more. Every night I have this incredibly vivid dream where I'm screwing a box turtle."

"I see," says the shrink. "But tell me, Senator Cornyn -- is the box turtle male, or female?"

The man sits bolt upright on the couch. "Female, of course! What do you think I am -- queer?!?"

Jay Bookman tells it better (via our esteemed colleague Michael at PDP).

UPDATE: The proposed constitutional amendment that would have banned gay marriage is dead abornin', and according to AP its Republican sponsors are now struggling merely "to salvage a respectable defeat." In fact, the situation is so dire that some of them are hearing the little voices in their heads again:
In a strongly worded speech, Sen. Rick Santorum, R-Pa., said some criticism runs along these lines: "Marriage is hate. Marriage is a stain. Marriage is an evil thing. That's what we hear. People who stand for traditional marriage are haters, they're bashers, they're mean-spirited, they're intolerant. ... Well, we're not," he added.
Well, you are.
"Well, we're not," he added.
Well, you are too.
"Well, we're not," he added.
UPDATE II: Hey, wait a minute -- if the Senator from Texas is so goddam heterosexual, how come his name is "Cornyn"?

UPDATE III: Rumor has it that Cornyn, who runs for re-election in 2008, will face a strong challenge from Felchyn.

| | Technorati Links | to Del.icio.us