Tuesday, August 31, 2004

Stop Making Sense 

Via Zemblan patriots J.M. and J.D.: the Republicans must be so very thrilled to have Alan Keyes out of the fruit cellar and running around loose again:
Expressing support for a proposed amendment to the Constitution that would ban same-sex marriage — an issue that the vice president has said is best left to the states to legislate, Keyes said: "The essence of … family life remains procreation. If we embrace homosexuality as a proper basis for marriage, we are saying that it's possible to have a marriage state that in principle excludes procreation and is based simply on the premise of selfish hedonism."

Asked whether that meant [Vice President Cheney's lesbian daughter] Mary Cheney was "a selfish hedonist," Keyes said: "That goes by definition. Of course she is."
There must be some aspect of procreation that Mr. Keyes has failed to grasp: we know great galloping legions of procreating lesbians. We cannot, however, dispute the fact that certain low classes of individuals have been known to tie the knot without any thought of reproducing -- sterile men, post-menopausal women, couples who just sorta like each other but don't want kids -- and if Mr. Keyes wants to enact legislation denying those selfish hedonists the right to a marriage license, we are behind him one hundred percent.

Personally, we have always striven to be unselfish hedonists. Ask anyone who knows us.

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