Friday, October 01, 2004

A Loosening Effect 

We are indebted to our distinguished colleagues at No More Mr. Nice Blog for bringing to our attention the following dump intel from Agence France-Presse, which suggests that Kerry may be finding growing support among the (as it were) regular army:
AL-ASAD AIRBASE, Iraq -- The US military, which traditionally avoids meddling in politics, is expressing its views about the US presidential race in the one place where a soldier can speak his mind freely: the latrines . . . .

And if one straw poll is to be believed on this gigantic air base in the western Iraqi desert, Kerry is due to rout Bush in the November 2 elections after the Massachusetts senator picked up 73 votes to 58 on the bathroom wall.

However, the vote has come in for criticism amid suspicions Kerry supporters voted more than once due to the identical hashmarks on his side of the column inside the foul, humid brown and green plastic stalls, known as "Port-a-Johns" . . . .

The bathroom wall vents a surprising amount of anger over Bush, considered by many rank-and-file a great wartime president, and heaps a mountain of cynicism on the US presence in Iraq.

Much of the bile is dedicated to denigrating Bush's homestate of Texas, the land of cowboys and toughness that has come to define his wartime presidency.

"Here I sit cheeks a-flexin'. Bout to make another Texan," one rhyme reads, repeated in multiple stalls.

"Fuck Texas" reads another slogan, prompting threats of death from a defender of the Lonestar state.

Another slogan reads: "Texas = steers and queers," in a crude verbal assault on Texans' code of manhood.

One diatribe says: "The only thing Bush cares about is a good fight to make a name for himself. If you think he really cares about us you're out of your fucking mind. If you really believe 9/11 is related to Iraq then you're just as delusional as the hippie that thinks there will ever be world peace.

"You're not fighting for America. You're fighting for fucked-up politics. End of story Cinderella."

Another pundit opines: "If you are a retard, vote Bush. He is too!"

Bush supporters fire back with accusations that Kerry will sink the military. They belittle his military service in Vietnam and write: "A traitor ever since Vietnam, when he lied about his actions," in reference to charges brought against Kerry by a dubious group of military veterans in August.

"If you want a huge pay cut, vote Kerry," writes one bathroom scribe, voicing the grunt soldier's belief that the Democrats will gut the armed forces.

"If you want a pussy in office vote Kerry."

But Kerry gets off scot-free compared to Bush who is called "a scumbag, alcoholic, draft-dodging millionaire daddy's boy," in reference to Bush's wild youth and lingering questions about his national guard service during Vietnam.

Commenting on the marines' bathroom debating society, Lieutenant Josh Walton suggested the stalls had a loosening effect on the soldiers, especially the service's smaller number of Kerry supporters.

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