Saturday, October 02, 2004

We Hear He Likes His Constructionism Extra-Strict 

You have no doubt read elsewhere that Supreme Court Justice Antonin Scalia earlier this week expressed his belief that "sexual orgies eliminate social tensions and ought to be encouraged," a statement of principle that resolved several mysteries (such as: What does Justice Clarence Thomas see in this guy? -- And How come Justice Sandra Day O'Connor keeps threatening to retire?) while raising others (Have you met Mr. and Mrs. Jack Ryan?)

We were hoping to bring you the item sooner, but while we were trying to think up a good smutty joke to run at the top of it (e.g., Q. Why did the pervert cross the road?) our esteemed colleague Shaula Evans of Tsuredzuregusa tossed off an epic post exposing Scalia as a sex radical and recasting Gore Vidal's Caligula with G.W. Bush in the lead (and special guest star Porter Goss as The Hoss).

And further this deponent saith not.

UPDATE: Oops, almost forgot. A: He couldn't get his dick out of the chicken!

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