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Thursday, February 17, 2005

Angels with Hairy Palms 

For reasons of his own that are best not discussed, Zemblan patriot J.D. has been trying for some time to get us on the teen-abstinence bandwagon, and since we can't remember exactly what we were holding out for, we decided it was time to give in. If you're a teen, if you have a teen, if you haven't had a teen yet but desperately want to, then the two sites below, produced by the WhiteHouse.org Office of Youth Purity, are right up your, um, alley:

FOR GIRLS ONLY: IronHymen.com, where you can read a Very Special Dispatch from First Lady Mrs. George W. Bush: "TEN THINGS EVERY GIRL SHOULD KNOW ABOUT BOYS AND THEIR VILE PRIVATE PARTS."

FOR BOYS ONLY: SexIsForFags.com, where you can check out "TEN THINGS ALL THE COOL DUDES ARE DOING INSTEAD OF BEING LAME AND QUEER AND HAVING SEX."

Make sure you visit the appropriate web page only. You know what we're talking about. Don't let us catch you "checking out" the opposite-sex site because you "accidentally" clicked on the wrong link!!

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