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Thursday, April 28, 2005

Meanwhile, the Red Skull Is Laughing His Ass Off 




Offered without comment:
It's clobberin' time! How else to explain yesterday's midday appearance, down in the Pentagon basement, of Secretary of Defense Donald Rumsfeld (normal human strength, no known superpowers), wedged between Spider-Man and Captain America, trying his best to melt that icy glare of his into a boy-am-I-glad-you-guys-showed-up kind of smirk?

Either Marvel Comics is really hard up for readers and needs an ultra-dynamic, Pentagon-heavy publicity gimmick to boost its sales, or Rumsfeld is finally ready to admit that only a superhero can extricate us from Iraq.

The official explanation for this partnership (The Titanic Three? The Terrific Trio?) is this: Marvel Comics has created a custom "Support Our Troops" comic book starring the New Avengers and the Fantastic Four for "America Supports You," a Defense Department campaign. One million copies will be distributed to service members in the United States and overseas. But as any friend of the Avengers can tell you, the official explanation sometimes can't be trusted . . . .

At one time the G-man assigned to oversee the Avengers was a humorless arrogant prig who was always lecturing them; at another, it was an affable functionary with a high tolerance for extralegal activities. Who, if either of these, better resembles Rumsfeld we leave for readers to judge.
We are pleased to report that the war on global super-villainy is going remarkably well. Never mind that the number of nefarious master plans has tripled since last year . . . .

UPDATE (courtesy of our distinguished colleagues at The Alternate Brain): Wonder if Rummy plans to drag Cap 'n' Spidey along for this?
Secretary of Defense Donald H. Rumsfeld will host an armed forces full honor review and award ceremony for Deputy Secretary Defense Paul Wolfowitz at the Pentagon at 11 a.m. EDT, Friday, April 29, 2005.

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