Wednesday, June 15, 2005

Death with Indignity 

Courtesy of Zemblan patriot T.C.: Why are our soldiers dying in Iraq?

A.) Saddam had WMD's.
B.) Saddam helped plot 9/11.
C.) The people of Iraq deserved to be liberated from a murderous despot.
D.) It is the mission of the United States to spread democracy.
E.) The fall of Saddam will cause a domino effect throughout the region, prompting other nations to cast off repressive theocratic dictatorships.
F.) Iraq is "flypaper" for all the terrorists who would otherwise be attacking us on our own soil.
G.) We need the oil.
H.) We need to establish permanent military bases in order to ensure stability in the oil-rich Middle East.
I.) The U.S. takeover of Iraq will make Israel more secure.
J.) The assets of the state could be privatized and the economy restructured as a free-market paradise, setting an example to the world.
K.) Halliburton and other major contractors with ties to the Bush administration have the opportunity to make out like bandits.
L.) God is punishing Americans for a 1999 bomb attack on Pastor Fred Phelps's Westboro Baptist Church in Kansas.

If you guessed "L," you take the biscuit:
A Kansas preacher and gay rights foe whose congregation is protesting military funerals around the country said he's coming to Idaho on Wednesday to picket the memorial for an Idaho National Guard soldier killed in Iraq.

A flier on the Web site of Pastor Fred Phelps' Westboro Baptist Church claims God killed Cpl. Carrie French with an improvised explosive device in retaliation against the United States for a bombing at Phelps' church six years ago . . . .

Phelps gained national notoriety in 1998 when he picketed the funeral of Matthew Shepard, the gay college student beaten to death in Wyoming.

Since then, Phelps said his church has been the target of hateful words and actions, including a bomb attack six years ago.

Phelps' church has picketed the funerals of AIDS victims for more than a decade.

French, 19, was a Caldwell High School graduate and varsity cheerleader. She was killed June 5 in the northern city of Kirkuk. French served as an ammunition specialist with the 116th Brigade Combat Team's 145th Support Battalion.

Phelps said the fact that French led an all-American life gives him all the more reason to picket her final public tribute.

"An all-American girl from a society of all-American heretics," he said.

"Our attitude toward what's happening with the war is the Lord is punishing this evil nation for abandoning all moral imperatives that are worth a dime," Phelps said.
We concede that the hopelessly mad are not, in the main, responsible for their own actions, but even a batshit, bugfucking lunatic like Fred Phelps should know that God does not want him to crash a funeral. However, it is not our place to pass judgment, and we are sure that Mr. Phelps will take a moment to reflect on his unfortunate breach of etiquette when he finds himself in manacles, naked, splayed across a rock in a sulfurous pool of boiling, belching magma, servicing every demon in hell (two per shift) for all eternity.

Boy, would we like to see the look on his face then.

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