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Tuesday, August 23, 2005

Well, They Might 

Via Harper's Magazine: Last November, after reading the 9/11 Commission's finding that American intelligence might have foreseen the attacks on the World Trade Center were it not for a "lack of imagination," Rob Cockerham of Cockeyed.com asked his readers to anticipate possible terrorist attacks -- "and be creative." He received hundreds of replies, some serious, some frivolous, and some occupying a tonal twilight zone:
  • Terrorists might introduce mad cow with tainted organs
  • Terrorists might do 50 simultaneous mall bombings
  • Terrorists might dust America's corn with pollen from genetically engineered poisonous corn strains
  • Terrorists might exploit diabetic security loophole to hijackattack airliners with poisoned hypodermic needles
  • Terrorists might frame a supposed antagonistic country by attacking with a doctored hijack attack
  • Terrorists might mix superglue with women's makeup
  • Terrorists might send smallpox or tb infected terrorists on a tour of American airports and casinos
  • Terrorists might poison the water misters at Disneyland
  • Terrorists might give away iPods with pre-recorded brainwashing messages
  • Terrorists might taint valentine roses with anthrax
  • Terrorists might poison communion at rural churches
  • Terrorists might poison drinking straws at the factory
  • Terrorists might poison beer and make it explode
  • Terrorists might hijack the Emergency Broadcast System and spread false information
  • Terrorists might do a suicide bomber on stage for American Idol finale
  • Terrorists might dump trillions of dollars perfect quality counterfeit cash in an air drop across the US
  • Terrorists might infect our paper cash with some sort of chemical or biological agent
  • Terrorists might contaminate Red, White and Blue Dyes with Anthrax, then use a small attack to boost patriotism
  • Terrorists might poison the supply of methamphetamines in the US
  • Terrorists might sink a barge loaded with a super-absorbent polymer, damming the river
  • Terrorists might Use lifesize plastic explosive sculptures of homeless people in cardboard shantys beneath the Alaskan Way Viaduct in Seattle
  • Terrorists might create the bra-bomb, and panty bomb to go with the shoe bomb
  • Terrorists might limit the flu vaccine supply
  • Terrorists might trick us into spending all our money on a couple terrorists rather than education and healthcare

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