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Friday, December 23, 2005

Peace on Earth, Good Will Toward -- Ahhrr, Fuck It 

If, during the Christmas holidays, you find yourself in the bosom of your less-than-progressive family, and after you have opened the presents and eaten the food and complimented the chef, loginess sets in, and you wind up sprawled on the sofa between a couple of slopeheaded wingnut in-laws; and if, having promised your loved ones to be on your best behavior after what happened last year, you have done your level best to steer the conversation toward such "safe," innocuous topics as the Outback Steakhouse Bowl, the MPC Computers Bowl, and/or the Meineke Car Care Bowl (we're picking NC State in that one); and if, further, despite your best efforts to maintain a breezy, civil manner, the chortling nogged-up knuckledraggers on either side of you persist in repeating the latest moronic right-wing canard disseminated by Messrs. Limbaugh, O'Reilly, et al, on their broadcasts of the previous day . . . . well, in that case, we hereby authorize you to ask them this question. And if you don't like their answer, then by all means whip out a copy of this document and demand that they sign it.

Ought to liven things up a little.

Have your spouse call us afterward.

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