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Monday, January 23, 2006

Dear John 

Rec'd earlier today from a politician who couldn't pour piss out of a boot if it had instructions printed on the heel:
Dear [Simbaud],

I've studied Judge Alito's legal record. I met with him one-on-one. After all this, I am left with one simple conclusion: if Judge Alito becomes Supreme Court Justice Alito, he will move the Court backwards.

I will vote against Judge Alito's confirmation, and I hope a majority of Senators choose to join us on the Senate floor, voting and speaking out against him. I know we face tough odds, but this is an important fight.

The bottom line is Judge Alito cannot be trusted on the Supreme Court. We can't trust him to stand up to government abuse of power. We can't trust him to ensure all citizens enjoy equal protection under the law. We can't trust him to protect our right to privacy. We can't trust him to defend mainstream American values.

To muster enough Senators to defeat Judge Alito, the American people have to make it clear that they are against his nomination. That's where you come in. By speaking out, you will help us convince other Senators to join our fight.

Stand with us today against Judge Alito . . . .

To join this fight, please sign our letter. When I go down to the Senate floor to speak out against Judge Alito, I'll enter your name in opposition to Alito into the Congressional Record as well. And I'll show my Senate colleagues that as far as the American people are concerned, this is not some inside the beltway conversation; this is a landmark struggle for the future of our nation.

Please join us in this fight for our most cherished rights and freedoms.

Sincerely,
John Kerry
To which we can only reply:
Dear Senator Kerry,

You dithering fuckwit. Do you imagine for one nanosecond that a letter ("Dear Senators, I am writing to ask that you vote against Samuel Alito’s nomination to the Supreme Court and work hard to convince other Senators to join you") signed by thousands or hundreds of thousands or millions of Democrats, and then waved around on the Senate floor by you, is going to change a single Republican vote? It won't. It might allow you to experience a momentary illusion of usefulness. It might allow you to feel as though you Fought the Good Fight and Went Down Swingin', and yes, that would be very nice for you, but in practical terms? Please. The one and only way to keep Alito from sitting on the Supreme Court for the rest of our natural lives is to filibuster his wack ass, and that means pulling your own party into line. Could you do us that little favor? Are you up to it?

We would be happy indeed to sign a letter urging you and your gormless colleagues, a couple of whom used to represent the interests of the American people on the rare occasions when they could be roused from their torpor, to support a filibuster against a cracker jurist who is actively hostile to the rights of women and minorities and who advocates de facto dictatorship. Do you have such a letter? No? Then we can't help you, except to recommend that you stock up on Astroglide before you toddle down to the Senate floor to assume your characteristic position. By the way, don't ever bother us again.

Sincerely,
Simbaud
King of Zembla
UPDATE (via BuzzFlash): John -- did we mention that you're every bit as gutless and nutless a flip-flopper as the bad guys made you out to be? From the AP, June 20, 2003:
"I am prepared to filibuster, if necessary, any Supreme Court nominee who would turn back the clock on a woman's right to choose or the constitutional right to privacy, on civil rights and individual liberties and on the laws protecting workers and the environment," Kerry said in remarks via satellite at a meeting of Democratic party officials in St. Paul, Minn.

"The test is basic -- any person who thinks it's his or her job to push an extreme political agenda rather than to interpret the law should not be a Supreme Court justice."
UPDATE II (via Atrios, which means you've seen it already, but when did we ever worry about redundancy?): Our erudite colleague David Neiwert of Orcinus is just about as happy as we are:
I broke my longstanding policy of not donating money to political parties last fall when the folks from the DNC called and asked for money to help gird them for the upcoming fights over judicial seats. I was assured that indeed they would fight to keep right-wing extremists off the Supreme Court.

And now, faced with a clear-cut extremist (and dissembler) who is about to not only overturn the right to obtain an abortion, but also to pave the path for an imperial executive branch with limitless powers ... nothing.

I'm not terribly inclined, as my readers know, to use profanity in my posts. But if the Democratic Party wants any more of my money, they can just go fuck themselves.
UPDATE III: One of our favorite bloggers, Leia of Corranto, accuses us of "wrong analysis" in the post above. Our analysis is, however, simple and impeccable. We believe that John Kerry is guilty of "wrong analysis" when he asks Democrats to sign a petition urging senators to vote against Alito, a strategy that will accomplish exactly nothing beyond guaranteeing Alito's confirmation. In our opinion, Democrats should call their Senators and demand in the strongest possible terms that they filibuster Alito. Cowardly Democrats must sooner or later be brought to understand that the actions they take, or the actions they refuse to take, have political consequences -- that a constituency betrayed, like a dream deferred, will eventually explode, right in their faces. Leha seems to apprehend this point when she writes:
Any of you who complain about Democrats’ lack of spine, but have done nothing to encourage their opposition to Alito, including use of the filibuster, in fact, if you haven’t made at least ten phone calls, sent ten emails or otherwise contacted at least ten Senators, and got ten other people to do the same thing, your complaints don’t got no credibility, pal. Not with me. Hey, all you guys who contribute to those huge comment threads at Atrios or Kos, sure, that’s cool, good for all of us to exchange facts and opinions, and have some place to pop off, but all that means nothing if it doesn’t lead to action.
That passage pretty much encapsulates our main objection to Sen. Kerry's little petition, which is that our time would be more profitably spent whacking off.

If you haven't called the toll-free number at the upper left-hand corner of the page, Laiah has a couple of others you can use to speak with your elected reps: 888-355-3588 and 888-818-6641. Do your bit, okay?

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