Tuesday, January 31, 2006

Like Jimmy Carter, Only Stupid 

Q: Is one of the problems with this, and the entire energy field, American lifestyles? Does the President believe that, given the amount of energy Americans consume per capita, how much it exceeds any other citizen in any other country in the world, does the President believe we need to correct our lifestyles to address the energy problem?

MR. FLEISCHER: That's a big no. The President believes that it's an American way of life, and that it should be the goal of policy makers to protect the American way of life. The American way of life is a blessed one. And we have a bounty of resources in this country. What we need to do is make certain that we're able to get those resources in an efficient way, in a way that also emphasizes protecting the environment and conservation, into the hands of consumers so they can make the choices that they want to make as they live their lives day to day.
-- White House Press Conference, May 7, 2001

The Republicans in attendance stood and applauded through much of tonight's SOTU address, but there were occasional lulls in the adulation, and during one of them the Science President seized the opportunity to applaud himself:
The best way to break this addiction [to oil] is through technology. Since 2001, we have spent nearly $10 billion to develop cleaner, cheaper and more reliable alternative energy sources. And we are on the threshold of incredible advances. So tonight, I announce the Advanced Energy Initiative, a 22 percent increase in clean-energy research at the Department of Energy to push for breakthroughs in two vital areas. To change how we power our homes and offices, we will invest more in zero-emission coal-fired plants, revolutionary solar and wind technologies and clean, safe nuclear energy.

We must also change how we power our automobiles. We will increase our research in better batteries for hybrid and electric cars and in pollution-free cars that run on hydrogen. We will also fund additional research in
cutting-edge methods of producing ethanol, not just from corn but from wood chips and stalks or switch grass.
We were pleased to learn that the Bush administration has spent "nearly" $10 billion on the development of alternative energy sources in the last five years. The figure sounded quite impressive until we realized that, at current rates, Mr. Bush has spent roughly the same amount to secure the oil in Iraq and (eventually) surrounding areas since . . . let's see . . . Dec. 11, 2005.

And before you ask, no, that figure does not include reconstruction monies -- because who the hell knows where they went.

(Thanks to Zemblan patriot P.S. for the Ari Fleischer link.)

UPDATE: The President wants you and the rest of the American people to know that in the remarks above he was "just fuckin' witcha," and wonders whether anyone would like to pull his finger.

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