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Thursday, August 24, 2006

And Larry Flynt Got the Box Containing Lady Chatterly's Lover 

Secret Origins of . . .

The Joker: Dumped into a churning vat of chemical waste that turned his skin chalk white, his lips ruby red, his hair emerald green, this cackling sociopath terrorizes Gotham City as the "Clown Prince of Crime."

Two-Face: Crusading D.A. Harvey Dent was disfigured beyond recognition when a vengeful witness flung acid at one side of his face. Now the toss of a two-headed coin determines which aspect of his dual nature will prevail: the evil, or the good.

Gorilla Boss: Criminal kingpin Boss Dyke arranged, just before his execution, for his brain to be transplanted into the body of a giant gorilla. The arrangement is only temporary, however, for the simian mastermind plans to transfer his brain yet again when he procures a suitable human body . . . preferably Batman's! (Honesty compels us to admit that this particular Secret Origin has always posed a bit of a challenge to our Willing Suspension of Disbelief.)

Grover Norquist: Well . . . we'll let our esteemed colleague Tristram Shandy tell you why he turned out the way he did.

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