Friday, August 18, 2006

How Justice Went Blind 

Our celebration of Smut Week would be a sorry thing indeed without Zemblan patriot J.M., who forwards the following profile of the jurist most likely to be Mr. Bush's next Supreme Court nominee. No doubt orgy advocate Antonin Scalia and Long Dong Silver fan Clarence Thomas are saving him a seat:
A former judge convicted of exposing himself while presiding over jury trials and accused of using a sexual device under his robe was sentenced Friday to four years in prison . . . .

At his trial this summer, his former court reporter, Lisa Foster, testified that she saw [Judge Donald] Thompson expose himself at least 15 times during trial between 2001 and 2003. Prosecutors said he also used a device known as a penis pump during at least four trials in the same period.

Thompson, 59, was convicted last month of four felony courts of indecent exposure for incidents that took place in his Creek County courtroom.

Thompson, a married father of three grown children, testified that the penis pump was given to him as a joke by a longtime hunting and fishing buddy.

"It wasn't something I was hiding," he said.

He said he may have absentmindedly squeezed the pump's handle during court cases but never used it to masturbate.

Foster told authorities that she saw Thompson use the device almost daily during the August 2003 murder trial of a man accused of shaking a toddler to death. A whooshing sound could be heard on Foster's audiotape of the trial. When jurors asked the judge about the sound, Thompson said he hadn't heard it but would listen for it.

Police built a case against the judge after a police officer testifying in a 2003 murder trial saw a piece of plastic tubing disappear under Thompson's robe. During a lunch break, officers took photographs of the pump under the desk.

Investigators later checked the carpet, Thompson's robes and the chair behind the bench and found semen, according to court records.
Actually, your honor, if it's all the same to you, we would really rather not approach the bench . . . .

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