Monday, November 13, 2006
Our imperial colleague the Queen of Philadelphia (riffing on a post by our swashbuckling colleague Scaramouche) has decided to offer our Republican brethren some useful advice of the sort they have been accustomed to sharing, in their frequent and uncontrollable bursts of generosity, with Democrats. These ten simple rules for winning back Congress (of which we excerpt three below) are brief enough to be printed up and distributed as wallet-sized cards, or, if you prefer, engraved on stone tablets and placed on prominent display in the public square:
1. Thou shalt not steal. (And not just you, Denny. All of you.)SIDEBAR: And speaking of honoring thy father and thy mother: We know it's currently fashionable to pile on our beleaguered President, but we happen to think this latest Newsweek cover is -- well -- just simply wrong.
2. Thou shalt not bear false witness. No more lying to the American public, especially not to get us into a war. Oh, and that means no more untruthful attacks on your opponents, either. No more playing games with official reports.
3. Thou shalt not commit adultery. Really, guys, try to keep it in your pants for a change.