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Thursday, November 16, 2006

Muhammad, No. Borat, Maybe 

The December issue of Harper's contains a list of "non-Koranic sayings attributed to the Prophet Muhammad," but rejected as inauthentic -- and needlessly misogynistic -- by Ali Bardakoglu, Turkey's head of religious affairs. A few highlights:
  • Women were created from the rib bone; do not bother to straighten them. Make use of their crookedness.
  • If it weren't for the sons of Israel, the flesh would not stink; if it weren't for Eve, women would not have betrayed men.
  • Even if the husband's body is covered with pus and the woman cleans it by licking, she still won't have paid her dues to her husband.
  • Hey women! If you knew your husband's rights, you would wipe the dust from their feet with your faces.
  • May God curse women who have tattoos, who have hair removed from their faces, and who have their teeth altered for cosmetic purposes.
  • I saw that most of the people in hell are women.
Before someone mistakes us for Glenn Reynolds (or worse yet, a Danish cartoonist), we would like to state categorically that we do not believe even for a moment that the above remarks might represent, in any way, the true beliefs or opinions of the Prophet Muhammed. Furthermore, no endorsement is implied or should be inferred. As it happens, we ourselves strongly disagree with bullet points #5 and #6, and portions of #2.

(Memo to the Q. of Z.: Don't worry, sweetie. In our book your "dues" are paid in full!)

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