Tuesday, January 30, 2007

Loads of Laughs and Fun at Airports 

Zemblan patriot J.D. reports that our neighbors across the briny have moved one step closer to the dys- (or is it u-?) topian future of mandatory nudism so chillingly depicted by visionary tit man Robert A. Heinlein in his prurient YA classic The Puppet Masters:
OFFICIALS are bracing themselves for a storm of public outrage over their controversial X-ray cameras scheme.

As part of the most shocking extension of Big Brother powers ever planned here, lenses in lampposts would snap “naked” pictures of passers-by to trap terror suspects.

The proposal is contained in leaked documents drawn up by the Home Office and presented to PM Tony Blair’s working group on Security, Crime and Justice.

But the prospect of the State snooping on individuals’ most private parts is certain to spark national fury.

A January 17 memo seen by The Sun discusses the cameras, which can see through clothes.

It says “detection of weapons and explosives will become easier” and says cameras could be deployed in street furniture.

It adds: “Some technologies used in airports have already been used as part of police operations looking for drugs and weapons in nightclubs. These and others could be developed for a much more widespread use in public spaces . . . .

Officials have agreed one solution would be to allow only women to monitor female subjects — although they admit this would be “very problematic” in crowds.
THE GOOD NEWS: Civil service applications have skyrocketed.

THE BAD NEWS: Once surveillance units get a good long look at the nude body of the average British pedestrian, civil service applications will plummet.

THE RISK: Terrorists and suicide bombers will swiftly learn that they can usually avoid detection by walking exactly ten paces behind actress/model Kelly Brook (left).

GRAPHIC (above right): A 1950's prototype of the technology British officials plan to deploy enables a youthful Benny Hill to ogle Bozo the Clown.

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