Thursday, March 20, 2008

Action Alert: Demand That Your Candidate Repudiate the Declaration of Independence 

Over the course of a long and grueling presidential campaign we have found our sympathies shifting on an almost daily basis, from Hillary on Monday to Obama on Tuesday, and even, on every sixth Friday of the month, to the noted "maverick" (which is French, we are told, for "dithering fuckwit") John McCain, who was once a POW and who is on that basis at least as qualified for the presidency as any detainee at Gitmo. It is too soon for us to say how we will ultimately cast our ballot, but there is one thing we can tell you with absolute certainty: we love our adopted country of America, and we will never, ever, vote for a candidate who endorses the following load of hooey -- which you may recall from civics class, if you are old enough to have taken civics class and young enough to remember having done so:
We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowed by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness. — That to secure these rights, Governments are instituted among Men, deriving their just powers from the consent of the governed, — That whenever any Form of Government becomes destructive of these ends, it is the Right of the People to alter or to abolish it, and to institute new Government, laying its foundation on such principles and organizing its powers in such form, as to them shall seem most likely to effect their Safety and Happiness . . .
. . . and so on and so forth, blah, blah, blah. It all sounds quite reasonable, doesn't it? Uplifting, too, perhaps even noble! -- until you realize that the primary author of these hifalutin sentiments was a crazy asshole, the Rev. Jeremiah Wright of his day, who also said:
I tremble for my country when I reflect that God is just; that his justice cannot sleep forever.
Say wha-a-a-a-at???

Do not imagine for a moment that you get to choose the baby OR the bathwater; it's both, or nothing. Call or write your candidate's campaign office and demand to know his (or her) position on Life, Liberty, and blah blah blah. Is he (or she) willing to renounce the Declaration of Independence in the strongest possible terms? -- and if not, then how can you or any true patriot so much as consider supporting a candidate who shares our third president's obvious death wish for America?

N.B.: If you need any further encouragement, there is also plenty of evidence to sugggest that Thos. Jefferson had carnal relations with a Negro woman. (We started to say "with a Negro woman not his wife," but then we thought: why belabor the obvious?)

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